I was almost 17 when we got this little baby girl at our children's home. She was so sad and confused. She needed her mama. She didn't come from an abusive situation like most of our girls. Her mom had mental problems and her dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict. When the mom found herself without a husband and no where to go she decided to take her two young children to DIF(child services). They brought them to us.
Tania and I bonded in an amazing way. She was MINE and I was her mommy. Some people would tell me that I couldn't love her like a daughter because I didn't know what that was like. Now I can honestly say that I did love her like a daughter, I still do.
Anyway, a couple of years later mom and dad get back together and decide that they want her back. They already had her older brother but hadn't been as interested in Tania.
She was a little princess, every ones pride and joy. My mom and sister who had never gotten attached to a child that was not a part of the family, loved Tania and were so attached to her. We all were crazy about her, but especially me. So when DIF decided to give her back to her family it broke my heart. Tania wanted nothing to do with her parents, she was so little. Her mom told us that she would cry for us and call our names.
When I saw her again my little princess was changed. She had rough feet and scars on her body. Her hair was dry and damaged, full of lice. The sparkle in her eyes was gone. The pain I felt was sometimes unbearable. I would ask her mom to let me take her, I would clean her up and love on her. Every time I had to give her back it was like my heart was being pulled away from my body.
One day Tania's mom got scared. Her and her husband were doing really bad, he was drinking, they didn't have jobs, their shack was disgusting. They knew that if social services went to check on them they would take the kids away. So they took off. And for 7 years I have been praying my heart out for my baby girl. I had heard that her mom went to the south of Mexico and left her kids there.
My sister told me that on Saturday someone came to the ranch, it was Joanna, Tania's mom. She came looking for my mom and me, to apologize. She said that her life had been a nightmare but that God had changed her. I still can't believe it. Roshon asked for Tania immediately so Joanna came back the next day with her, with my baby girl that I loved so much. I couldn't stop crying when Roshon told me!
They had been in the south, Joanna and her husband had separated again and and he had the kids. She did everything to get them back. She truly fought for them.
They are staying with Joanna's mom, I don't know how long they will be there. I had been waiting so long for them to come back. Many, many times I had wanted to go look for them. I just didn't even know where to start. God heard my prayers. And it is because of Him that I didn't go crazy thinking about my baby girl. I trusted God with her life, I knew she was surrounded by danger, by nasty, evil people. But He has protected her.
The crazy thing is that I can now see how God used her to prepare me for the birth of my sons. I grew so much with what I went through with Tania. Anyway, God IS good.
