Friday, November 25, 2011

Please pray for Jesse

Prayers please! This time they are mostly needed for Jesse. We took him to the pediatrician this morning after about 5 days of having a cold/cough. He was actually doing better but thank God the pediatrician said to bring him in anyway. He has a double ear infection and his oxygen levels were so low, we almost had to go to the Children’s Hospital by ambulance! They thought it could be pneumonia and haven’t ruled that out yet, but are thinking its asthma. We were at the ER for about 6 hours and they couldn’t get him breathing well enough so tonight he is in the ICU. I’m so thankful that this is all so very new to Jesse; this is his first time back to the hospital since he left as a 3 month old -5 ½ pound baby. Although it is super hard on him and he doesn’t get why he has to have ‘strings on his wittle hand’(IV), the pulse oxymiter is driving him crazy and he insists that he feels better and wants to be all done… all I can think about is how awesome it is that he hadn’t had to go through this before, and I know that this could have been a normal thing for him but it’s not.
Also please keep Levi in your prayers. Yesterday he started acting a little sick, he too has an ear infection and a cold. If what Jesse has is viral, it’s very contagious and Levi has been around him all along. He is coughing pretty badly tonight.
Thank you all so much for praying!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

happy thanksgiving!!!

Four years ago tonight, I had traveled for two days; 2000 miles while in labor. When looking back, I remember not being scared. I’m not an anxious person, not usually anyway. I was calm, from looking at me you would have never guessed that anything was wrong. I didn’t want to lie at the airport, I didn’t even have to I was so calm! Crazy… actually it was more like I was na├»ve. And also, God only lets you see what you need to see at times, to be able to get through the storm. Today? I couldn’t do it, no way. My dad had taught me the night before how to give myself a shot… lol… for those of you who know me, like from before, you know that I don’t do well with any of that! But hey, they were to slow down my labor… of course I was going to do it, no problem! When we landed in Nashville, all I wanted to do was sleep. I was a little disappointed when everyone insisted I go to the hospital to get checked out. About 6 hours later I was in the operating room having an emergency C-section. It’s kinda strange looking back, because I felt relieved. I had been in so much pain and my contractions were just getting worse, I couldn’t imagine having to stay that way for weeks. Now, looking back I realize that that pain was NOTHING compared to what was coming. They told me to not expect any baby cries, that they were too little for that. But we did hear them, it sounded like a soft kitten cry. The Doctor that helped deliver them was very impressed with how strong they were, he’s from Mexico City so of course he said that they had good strong Mexican genes to thank for that. After that I just remember being very light headed all the time, close to fainting constantly. When my baby cousin was born, 4 years before that, my aunt sent me with him and a nurse that was going to poke his heal and have drops of blood for the newborn tests that they do and I barely made it without passing out… like BARELY. SO, seeing my very tiny babies with IV’s, tubes and wires everywhere was difficult to say the least. And for 113 days they literally had to fight for every breath they took, and so did we. I named my blog ‘113 days of praise’ hoping that one day I can look back on those days as something to greatly rejoice about, a trial that tested us and found us praising, honoring and glorifying God ( IN THIS YOU GREATLY REJOICE, THOUGH NOW FOR A LITTLE WHILE, IF NEED BE, YOU HAVE BEEN GRIEVED BY VARIOUS TRIALS, THAT THE GENUINENESS OF YOUR FAITH, BEING MUCH MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD THAT PERISHES, THOUGH IT IS TESTED BY FIRE, MAY BE FOUND TO PRAISE, HONOR, AND GLORY AT THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST. 1PETER 1:6-7).
Those 113 days we did praise, we cried and begged like never before. Everyday brought new challenges, every brain scan that didn’t show damage was a victory. I feel like we did enjoy the victories but at the same time, things could and would change from one moment to another. It’s like we couldn’t take deep breaths. Looking back, mostly I feel pain, resentment. My sons birth day was the worst day of my life… I know it sounds terrible and I didn’t start feeling that way until close to their 1st birthday, when I started re-living those terrible days. I so long to see them as days of praise! But it was the day that my twins started suffering so very much… the day they were born 15 weeks early. Please, don’t get me wrong, it’s also the day that God showed his grace and protected us from death. I am thankful that I have two very happy, amazing, joyful, precious boys… if only they could have stayed in me longer.
It doesn’t help that things aren’t going well with Levi and the trach removal process. I just thought that by now, by their fourth birthday we would be so much further along. Expectations kill joy… for sure. In the last procedure, the one that Levi had on the 17th, the Doctor saw no improvement whatsoever. The section of the trachea is just not healing. He didn’t understand how after steroids and anti-inflammatory antibiotics, things could look so the same. He said it looked like he had just had surgery. He will be checked again the first week of December, after that, if things don’t look any different we aren’t sure what plan B will be.
For those of you who have faithfully prayed for the boys, I ask that you will continue to pray, please! For complete healing for Levi’s airway. That God will restore him. For wisdom for the Doctors and us, we don’t know what to do! We are so thankful for the hope that we have and that HE is in control. Levi has done so well going back to the hospital time after time, we are so thankful for that! Beyond thankful… we couldn’t have continued with this process if it wasn’t so. We hide surprises for him to find every time we take him back. He goes into the OR with a smile and excited to see what he will find. I need to learn from him!
Again, thank you all for your prayers. We love you all and could not have made it this far without your support. Happy thanksgiving!!!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

November 2 procedure

Ah, a long and overdo update… so sorry! I know a lot of you are on facebook and so you know how things are going. But for those of you who are not, I apologize. Levi had his surgical procedure on November 2, they went in and removed the stent that had been there for 6 weeks. It was completely covered in scar tissue, to the point where the doctor couldn’t even see it. Removing it did a lot of damage to his airway, it was very painful for him. I’m afraid that Doctors and nurses are now back to being evil people who just want to hurt him (in Levi’s eyes anyway). We were at Costco yesterday and a lady came up to us and Levi had a big smile on his face until she said she was a nurse… I couldn’t even get him to look up after that! Anyway, his airway was very irritated, very inflamed and just really torn up after the procedure. He did a round of steroids and two antibiotics hoping to help things calm down.
We have our next two scopes already scheduled. The first one is this Wednesday and then on the 30th. He wants to do another one two weeks after that and then take a long brake. After that he will check his airway again and maybe talk about removing the trach. The reason why we are going to have to wait so much longer is because of how bad his airway looked.
I’ve been meaning to write this update since our last appointment but it’s just been really hard to process all this information. This is just all very discouraging for me and I just feel like this is never going to end… the words that I’ve been hearing for almost 4 years now are really dragging me down.
On the other hand, Levi and Jesse are doing great! They are happy and active, smart and joyful. They are both super excited about turning 4, they talk about it all the time!
Please keep the prayers coming, we need healing… it makes me sick having to watch him go through all this and being put under so often… I wish there was a way around it…