Saturday, May 21, 2016
I think it’s time to make this “official”… most of you probably already know, but for those of you who don’t, God has opened the doors for us to move back to Mexico! I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while, but there have been so many emotions that have kept me from it. I’m going to do my best to give a quick explanation. Of course I can’t do that without going back to the beginning. Brian and I never thought we would ever leave Mexico, God had brought him there and we had work for a lifetime ahead of us. The way we ended up here, in Tennessee, was definitely God’s hand… definitely. After the boys were born, I remember thinking how awesome it was going to be to let all our loved ones in Mexico see them. I remember thinking of ways to keep germs away from them and having to teach everyone about pre-mature babies. After Levi had his tracheostomy, the doctor said that he would most likely have to have it for two years. He said there was a chance that at his 6 month check up we would see enough improvement to get it out then. In my heart he said hopefully he would get it out soon but worst case scenario it would be two years. When the two year mark came and things were so bad with Levi’s airway I felt hopeless. I wanted so badly for Brian to agree to move back with Levi’s trach and not wait for that big surgery. Obviously I didn’t get my way. I wrestled with Brian and God for many years. I felt like nobody around me really ‘got it’ and I felt so alone. When we had outgrown our townhouse and started trying to sell, Levi no longer had his trach, my heart went through the ringer. I grew up always hearing my grandmother tell the story of how she didn’t want to raise her children in the mountains but how grandpa always said that he would never leave. She finally gave her burden to God and shortly after grandpa was moving his entire family to the town of Alamos. So I knew, very well I needed to give my desires, my will to God, surrender completely to Him… so that I could get my way! When we were moving into our new house, God was very clear about me needing me to make this my home. In our townhouse I didn’t do anything, it was temporary… for my sanity’s sake it had to be temporary. So why invest in something that wasn’t going to last? With a broken heart I walked in obedience and painted this house, decorated, made things for it. I got close to people, where as before I only had a hand full of people that I called friends. I’ve learned that it’s not about letting go in order get your way, but about letting God take you through the process that He needs you to walk through. In order to go deeper in your Faith, in order to grow closer to Him. I’m definitely stubborn and a slow learner.
While in Mexico, God started speaking to Brian. He’s always been careful of what he says to me about Mexico, understandably so, so it caught me by surprise when he started saying things that made it sound like he wanted to stay. I’ve kept my heart so guarded that it still doesn’t feel totally real, what we are about to do feels like a dream! Even though we have grown in so many areas, we totally realize how what we are wanting to do, what we feel God is leading us to do, is so much bigger, greater, and definitely not humanly possible! It’s both terrifying and thrilling. To enter into a place where you absolutely can’t do it on your own and without God’s mighty power you are going to fail miserably, it’s very exciting!
If we had left years ago, I wouldn’t have cared to go back alone. But now I don’t want to. I know and understand that we need the body of Christ to back us up. We need an army of prayer warriors to love and pray for us. To keep in touch and support us. To visit and care… we need you all to go with us.
For the glory of God and to make His name famous, to bring the good news to the poor and oppressed, to set the captive free and go deeper in our faith… that’s why we are going. We CAN. NOT. WAIT! to see what God is going to do in us and through us and through you all…